Several weeks ago, I thought it might be fun to take Ava to the Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific to walk around, check out life underwater and most importantly, get outside and add some pigment to our fragile egg white skin. I still don't know how, but I roped my 26 year-old bachelor brother into … [Read more...] about My Two Dads.
When I was a kid, on Saturday mornings, while my Dad did yard work, my Mom would go grocery shopping and my brothers and I would stay behind to make pancakes, watch 'Super Friends' and annihilate the house. We built bed sheet forts in the living room that made their way through the kitchen and into … [Read more...] about Hazel The Maid.
AVA: Yo Dad, let's tie a rope around this thing and you can whip me around the driveway! Don't be a pussy! … [Read more...] about DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #3: Say No To Pot.
On the morning Ava turned 9 months old, from down the hall I heard Jen's voice echo 'could you get a bottle ready' and I knew it was the end of an era. I picked my flat feet up from the ottoman in the living room and it was then and there that I experienced my last 20-minute Dad furlough. It was … [Read more...] about Sloppy Seconds.
AVA: Dad, quit being a bitch! I saw them do this on Jackass. I'll be totally fine. I'm strapped in, BIG PUSH, let's do this thing! ME: Hook right, hook right! … [Read more...] about DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #2: Don’t Be a Jackass.
As a four year-old, the weekend before Easter meant another visit to the mall, to stand in line for 2+ hours with the other Pennsylvania Dutch and honor one more tradition, getting your picture taken with the Easter Bunny. In the late '70's, I was lucky enough to be subjected to the strung-out, … [Read more...] about My Peter Cottontail Is On Acid.