That’s the amount of time we had with my niece. Her name is Olivia.
The day after we finished our 2,690 mile move and cross-country drive from California to Maryland, my wife got a phone call that forever changed the lives of our entire family.
It started out in the most incredible way. Ava was exploring her new cul-de-sac, playing with neighborhood kids, a hint of a cool, fall breeze was in the air and Jen had somehow managed to find her box containing her scarves and boots. She had broken them out and was walking out back to meet the mom who lived next door. A neighbor had actually come outside with a plate of cookies to offer, the mailman appeared and let the small kids help deliver the mail.
It was an oddly quintessential Norman Rockwell moment which solidified that our decision to move back east and raise our family here has been a good one. I’ll never forget those few hours.
They were the last in which our lives were completely perfect.
Of course, everyone has different definitions of perfection – but I can tell you with personal assurance that if your kids are healthy and you have a roof over your head, your life is perfect. Because all it takes is one glimpse into tragedy and pain, like my family would experience that Saturday night, to make you realize just how great things truly are – even when they may not seem that way.
My parents and in-laws were both in DC, to help us with the move-in process. The in-laws were finishing up a convention in Baltimore, about to drive over and meet us. Jen’s phone rang, it was her Mom.
‘Oh my God, there’s been an accident. Olivia’s been hit by a car and she’s not going to make it, we have to get back to Atlanta right now. My God, this is my worst nightmare!’
No one had any specific details, except that the situation was dire and it was necessary for everyone to get home immediately.
Given how disoriented we were at the time, living out of suitcases, having boxes and car-trip paraphernalia strewn throughout our new home, we decided it was best to split up. Jen and newborn Charlie would fly to Atlanta immediately, and Ava, the dog and I would drive down the following day.
I drove Jen and Charlie (8 weeks old) to the Baltimore airport where we met up with her parents and brother Max, all of them responding to the desperation of Brooke and her husband, Brad, ready to board the next available flight. There was an air of absolute devastation amongst all of them – we prayed that this accident might have somehow been exaggerated. We hoped it wouldn’t be the unimaginable.
Everyone raced to get home, in an effort to be with Brooke, Brad and the kids, and to see Olivia.
A few hours later, as I packed Ava’s bag in DC and got us ready to go, Jen and her family landed in Georgia.
They were greeted by Jen’s Uncle Bill, who had the unbearable task of telling everyone that their 13-month old granddaughter and niece, had died. My wife said that her mom crumpled to the ground, that she and her brother were in shock, and my father-in-law tried his best to be a pillar of strength for everyone in spite of the devastation around him.
It’s a moment you rarely think about, and likely never imagine will happen to you and to those you hold dear.
I don’t know that I’ll ever forget the phone call I received from my panicked wife.
‘Adrian, Jesus, Olivia died. Please put Ava in the car and come down here as soon as possible. Just go get her and lay next to her, keep her near you.’
She was asleep, my parents had retired to their hotel and I stepped to the balcony for a moment by myself. How could this happen to someone so young? WHY?
As evening turned into early morning, the details became more clear.
1 year. 1 month. 1 day.
Brooke, Brad, their twins Stone and Addie, along with Olivia, were at a little league field waiting for their oldest son Max’s football game to kick-off. With just a few minutes left in the previous game, Brad and the twins headed to the bleachers to claim seats and Brooke took Liv, buckled in her stroller, back to the car for her sippy cup.
Brooke looked left, then right, and proceeded to enter the parking lot in the crosswalk. For an unknown reason a car that had already gone past, had stopped and reversed in the wrong lane, without warning. The car hit Brooke and Olivia.
Brooke was thrown to the ground and the stroller, with Olivia inside, was knocked over.
Brooke heard Olivia crying, as she lay on the ground. While she struggled to get up from the pavement and help her baby, the driver reversed again, rolling over Olivia. The car then pulled ahead, running over her a second time, just as Brooke was about to reach her.
Olivia was taken by ambulance to Egleston Children’s hospital in Atlanta, where doctors worked tirelessly on her.
It was too late. Liv was gone.
As a father and an uncle, I am devastated. My heart is broken.
To imagine the amount of pain and loss that Brooke, Brad, Max, Stone and Addie are experiencing is gut-wrenching. The loss we feel as a family is compounded by the tragic and preventable nature of the circumstances surrounding her death.
On the evening before the funeral, as our family huddled in the kitchen at Brooke and Brad’s house discussing final arrangements and details, I sat with the kids in the garage, helping them make signs for the fence at the park, which had become a memorial wall.
Stone showed us picture after picture of Liv on his iPad… Addie told us over and over that her sister had died, that she ‘didn’t have a sister anymore’. My wife reassured her that she will ALWAYS have a sister, it’s just that she’s in heaven.
This is the fence at Lenora Park, the football fields near the site of the accident. We were overwhelmed by all of the toys, stuffed animals and balloons decorating Liv’s memorial on the fence.
That night, one of the witnesses to the accident organized what she originally thought was going to be an intimate gathering for family and friends, a candlelight vigil at the park, in her honor.
We arrived at the park just before dusk, and were greeted by several police cars blocking the road, indicating our point of entry. As we gathered in the empty parking lot, where Olivia was taken from us, the community filled in around us. Hundreds and hundreds of people deep…with the sun setting on the horizon, candles were lit and we sang songs while holding hands.
During a chorus of ‘Amazing Grace’, we lit 150 lanterns, sending them off into the summer night… symbolic of her journey to heaven, and that we were all right there beside her.
As Jen and I lit our lantern, I felt connected to a moment. It’s not a moment that any of us had ever wanted, yet, we were all part of it. As our lantern lifted into the night, I focused the camera towards Liv’s siblings, Max, Stone, and Addie.
With everyone holding hands and launching lights into the darkness for my niece, I locked up.
In that moment, we were one, hundreds of people watching the lanterns float into the night sky to the tune of bagpipes. This is Olivia’s brother, Stone, watching the amazing sight.
As Ava and I watched, she said, ‘Daddy, it’s Tangled!’ I knew what she meant. She was talking about her favorite Disney movie, where the King and Queen, who had their daughter stolen from them, launched lanterns into the night, every year, on the same day, her birthday. They were meant for Rapunzel to see, and in our case, for Liv, our own lost princess, to see.
Friends from all over, who couldn’t attend, sent us pictures and shared their own real-time candles with us via email and Facebook.
The next day, there was a service at the Grayson United Methodist Church, where the twins attended preschool. ‘Jesus Loves the Little Children’ played on the organ as we filed into the sanctuary. Jen’s aunt, Mother Pat Miller, led a children’s service as the kids gathered around her on the stairs leading up to the front of the church.
Olivia’s father, Brad, stepped up to the pulpit and spoke. His strength and composure during the delivery of the tribute to his daughter is something I can’t explain. It was one of the most moving and powerful speeches I’ve ever heard. I don’t know how he did it.
After he finished, Brad returned to the pew directly in front of me and fell into Brooke’s arms, breaking into tears. As long as I live, I’ll never forget that moment.
People ask me all the time how Brooke and Brad are coping.
My father-in-law said it best at the vigil… ‘The chain of my perfect family has forever been broken… and all I want is to fix it.’
I don’t know. There aren’t words strong enough to express what they’ve experienced and how it has re-shaped their lives. They lost their daughter. It’s something that most people can’t begin to comprehend. And Brooke witnessed it, which takes the heartache and grief process and compounds it like you cannot believe.
Brooke is continuing to recover from her own physical injuries, a constant reminder of that painful Saturday afternoon.
Right now they take life not day by day, but hour by hour.
And it is with this in mind that I ask all of you to SLOW DOWN and LOOK AROUND. STOP BEING IN A HURRY.
Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones. Cherish every moment and tonight, before bed, hug your kids a little tighter.
We will never forget you, Olivia. You are a beautiful scar on our hearts.
I’m glad we got to share this moment with you, Liv…
We miss your hugs and life will never be the same without you. Hopefully YOUR story can save another child’s life.
What a horrible, horrible tragedy. I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I can’t imagine having to cope with something like this. This is a beautiful tribute to your niece. I wish you had never had to write it.
Heartbreaking. I am sharing with all of my networks. Thank you for having the courage to put this into words. Having experienced much loss of my own (though I cannot fathom the loss of a child), I appreciate that you did this and are honoring such a beautiful angel. xo
I can’t image the loss your family is feeling. I have a 14 month old, she is the light of our life. I can’t even imagine. We will pray for your family during this time.
The dedication is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Absolutely beautiful Adrian. As you said so perfectly there are no words to truly describe the pain of such a loss. We hold you all in our aching hearts.
All of our love
Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to Olivia. We will always remember her and continue to pray for Brad and Brooke and their children as well as all their extended family. There is no greater loss than saying good bye to your child.
What a beautiful story even though it is a sad one. I couldn’t finish reading it in one sitting as I was crying too much. My prayers are with all of your families.
As a parent I can’t fathom what your family has been through. Very powerful and beautifully written piece. A great tribute to what sounds like a very special little girl. My condolences to you and your family.
This is so touching. So sad to have to meet you guys under these circumstances but I wish to send all the prayers and strength out to you and the family.
Words cannot expressed how sorry I am for your loss. As a mother, it is an experience that I cannot fathom. Just know that she will always be with you, watching over your family. She will always be your angel.
This post is amazing. As tears flow from my eyes, I can only imagine what your family is going through. I became a fan of your blog about 6 months ago when a dear friend of mine kept sharing your blogs on Facebook. I got sucked in. This post just sucked me in even more. As a resident of Atlanta who watches the 5 oclock news like clockwork, literally, I was devastated by this story when it aired. Heartbroken. Friends were posting the story in my newsfeed devastated as well. When I came to learn that Olivia was the niece of my dear friend(the same dear friend who introduced me to your blog), I was crushed. Max and I became very close friends in the short time that he attended Auburn. He is an amazing friend and I know he comes from an amazing family. I remember when his sister had Olivia, he was ecstatic to tell me because I have an Olivia of my own. My thoughts are with your family. I pray that you all find peace and comfort in the days to come. Much love.
I really feel like I’ve been living someone else’s life for the past 3 1/2 months. Truly. Even re-reading our phone conversations, verbatim, I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone’s carelessness and recklessness allowed this to happen to our family. And I read Shirley Easter’s comment–she truly knows this pain.
Adrian…very beautifully written. Thoughts and Prayers for strength continue every day for the Hellwig and Mayer Families.
Words cannot express the sadness I feel for the loss of Olivia’s precious, little life and for the loss your family has to endure. My prayers are with her little soul and with all of you. What a beautiful tribute you have put together for your lost princess. I am so, so sorry. <3
I met this precious little baby less than two months before she died. My daughter, Jenn, and I were at a baby shower for Jenn’s best friend, Greta, who is Brooke’s cousin. Little Olivia was having the best time! She ran up to me smiling, and the first thing I noticed about her was her big, round, beautiful blue eyes. I remember squeezing her little arm and telling her how cute she was. The horror of finding out what happened to her has really haunted me ever since. WHY??? Why did this happen??? It’s just so senseless! We went to the candlelight vigil for Olivia, and I totally understand the feeling that came over you, Adrian, at the park. Hundreds of people there, most of whom I didn’t know, but for that one night, we weren’t strangers. We all came because we were hurting for Olivia and her family, and ourselves. And for that one night, we were all connected in our pain. And the lighting of the lanterns as a tribute to Olivia was truly one of the most beautiful sites I’ve ever seen. The next day we attended Olivia’s funeral. I too don’t know how Brad was able to speak to all who gathered, but I’m so glad he was able to cause it was a great tribute to Olivia. Although very sad, the funeral itself was a beautiful celebration of a special little girl who graced this earth for one year, one month, and one day. She will live in our hearts forever!!!
I know how much you are hurting. I lost a 7 year old in a car wreck in 1983 – there is not pain like it. Taking one minute at a time is survival and allowing all the memories to continue is a way of remembering your beautiful Olivia. When the time is right, you may want to find The Compassionate Friends group in your area. They offer so much support and each one there knows how much you are hurting. There are no majic words just working through the grief in your own way and your own time. Please feel free to contact me at any time. My prayers are with each of you.
Olivia was such a sweet little baby girl! It beaks my heart that she is gone. I hope justice will be served to the woman that killed precious Olivia! Adrian you did such an amazing job on all of this! Peace and love always to all of you!
It is something we wont get over, but will live along side of forever… Olivia, …. she was such a wonderful soul who i look forward to seeing again….but not now….
and yes, slow down. DONT EVER backup for a parking space. Dont be in such a hurry to put others at risk. Its not worth it.
tragic beyond words.
Having lost my mother recently I know that there are no words of comfort that make you not miss them TERRIBLY! My only advice is to talk about Olivia all the time, remember the good memories, and cry whenever you need to. If you try to suppress your grief for other people, you will never face it. It’s been six months since I lost my mom and best friend and I still cry sometimes. I will be praying for your family and I hope you will find peace.
My thoughts go out to you and your family Age. Such a tragic event – couldn’t imagine losing my daughter – stay strong my friend. Off to hug my princess now.
Such a sad story. I know that she is resting in the arms of Jesus and I pray the family will find comfort in knowing that. May God continue to hold all of you close in His loving embrace.
For the fund, I’d like to suggest doing something for the lost, abandoned, murdered, abused children. Let God lead you and the parents in choosing the avenue for that to happen.
God bless.
Adrian,
This story is heart wrenching. I’m so, so sorry and am sending as many thoughts of strength and love as I can to you, and to little Olivia’s entire family. I hope that in the least, everyone who reads this and hears about this tragic loss stops to appreciate what they have, every day of their life.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers. I know how hard it is to lose someone, and I will be thinking about you.
There will never be enough words to express how sorry I am for your families loss of Olivia. To have someone so precious taken away so young because of someone’s lack of attention is one of those things that will never make sense. But I would like to believe that she saw and lanterns and balloons and smiled because she knew how much she was loved.
Beautiful tribute to your precious Olivia. My prayers and thoughts are with you all. I remember when my son was younger and played soccer, that the parking lot at the soccer field was one place no one backed up because of the danger to the kids. Thank you for sharing. If it saves only one child’s life, Olivia will be responsible. God bless your family.
May God bring healing to your hearts and a healing to your family.I cried reading this story, and can’t imagine this loss. As a mom this story touched me deeply. God bless you all, Love & light.
My husband Ken and I along with our five grandchildren were at the field that day. Our oldest grandson was playing in the game that was in progress when the accident happened. Brad and the twins walked past us on their way to their seats. It was close to the end of the game when the announcer stopped the game and called for Brad to come to the parking lot immediately. He left the twins with the mother of a boy on his son’s team. Word spread very fast on what happened and she spoke to them so sweetly about anything other than what happened. I knew she wanted people to know they were there and we needed to be mindful of them. My husband and I had brought 3 of my grandchildren and they were very upset so we felt it best to try and leave. There were so many people with a current game and another game about to start, we were so amazed how quiet the place was. My grandson’s team were on their knees praying and there were groups all over praying. The police had the parking lot blocked off and the ambulance had not left as yet so we held up our grandkids at the gate. The twins had been moved to a bench at the end of the field and we were standing very close when Brad came to sit with them. He was in shock but held it together as he spoke quietly to them. The ambulance left and we worked our way to our van on the other side of the lot. I knew from the look on the remaining EMT’s faces that the outcome was not good. They looked almost defeated and I knew they were upset that they could not save Olivia. They were cleaning up very slow and were silent in their work. I felt an urgency to get my grandchildren out of there so we moved to the back of the parking lot as we could not cross the police tape. As we walked down we passed a woman who wad talking to a police officer. She was nodding her head, tears running down her cheeks. There were three young girls standing with her, all crying silently. I looked to my right and there was the stroller, a pair of sandels and a child’s cup. That said it all for me and my heart just broke. We made it to our van and we left. The kids and I (ages 10, 8 and 3) talked about thinking good thoughts and praying the baby (we didnt know her name at the time) would be alright. I let their mother and daddy tell them she died so they could answer their questions in their own way. It was several days later also when the scene was not so fresh in their minds. The night it happened I found myself not only thinking of your family but those children who were in the car when it happened and how it will affect them. I asked all my Facebook friends to pray for your family as well as those girls. I will never forget their faces. I pray God will be with you each and every minute as you all learn to move on without your angel. I know I never back up in a parking lot or cross over a lane in a parking lot without thinking about what happened. And I think about how all those hundred’s of people at that park became one for a moment as we all prayed for Olivia. It gave me faith for the future. Love to all of you. Beverly Wiley
I came to this loving space by way of twitter. To your families I offer my sincerest, deepest condolences along with love and healing light. May the love & light of Olivia bring you all peace in the days to come.
Thank you for courageously sharing your story and reminding us to all SLOW DOWN.
Take care,
Deb
I read this due to a retweet by @joshwolfcomedy and I thank him (and you) for bringing us this beautiful story of a gorgeous little girl who was obviously loved beyond measure. God bless your family in your grief and please know that Olivia will never be forgotten.
i’m devastated, completely destroyed, just reading this. my nieces, my sweet’n’sour grrrls, they make me so happy to be alive. i can’t even imagine…
please accept my deepest condolences for this tragic loss.
if it’s not too intrusive, please tell me, was the driver caught? prosecuted?
i’m SO protective of my nieces, when i take them through parking lots or walking down the road, i am so intensely trying to keep track of every movement of them as well as every vehicle in sight. this will make me even more attentive.
god bless you and yours. be as safe as life will allow…
Quoting you: SLOW DOWN AND LOOK AROUND. STOP BEING IN A HURRY. Is it really worth the cost of someone’s life?
So true. Thank you for sharing a very poignant story and the beautiful photos with us. May your grief be eased and peace fill your hearts.
SN
A friend of Brooke’s had your blog posted on her facebook page. This absolutely broke my heart to read. There are tears running down my face as I write this. I’m so very sorry that your family had to experience this kind of pain! I can completely relate to it since I have also lost a child. My son died at the age of 6 from cancer and there will always be a hole in my heart. The saddest thing to me is the fact the your pain could have been prevented. I will keep all of you in my prayers that God will ease your pain and comfort you with a peace than can come only from Him.
I can not imagine your pain or the pain of her parents. You have a very special angel. I know the days of going hour by hour as an aunt who lost a niece who was One year and 2 wks old to an accident. It’s been 4yrs now and I still think of her everyday. I hope all is well with your family. Prayers to you and your family in this time.
I am touched more deeply than I can express to read this beautiful tribute to your family. There cannot be anything more devastating than the loss of a child. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
I am the mother of a child born with a disability. He recently suffered a bad injury from a preventable accident, which changed our lives, but not even close to the tragedy you have experienced.
I would like to suggest a charity that may be of interest to your family. Its called Little Smiles. They are working daily to bring a joyful experience into the lives of children suffering, many dying, from disease and injury. While Little Smiles may never change the world for all, the do magic to change one day in the lives of a child who’s world consists of suffering, hospitals, medical interventions and sorrow. Perhaps Olivia’s memory could be a part of bringing a smile to the face of another child who may never live long enough to know the great loss your family has experienced. I have included a link to their site so you may learn more. I do not work for them, we were luck to have experienced the generosity Little Smiles and their volunteer staff had to offer in our time of need.
With deepest sympathy, peace and love to you and your family.
http://www.littlesmiles.org/v2/
This is incredibly horrible and tragic. I am so sorry for your family’s loss..
You’re all in my prayers, especially Olivia.
What a horrible tradgedy. I am so sorry for your family that some monster did this to you. As a mom, this was painful to read even though my kids are older. I hope you all can find some peace and you will always have the good memories of your time with this beautiful little girl with you.
praying for your family.
This is a beautiful tribute post. I’m really sorry for the loss that one careless person caused for your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I can’t imagine what you are going through. I’ll be passing this along so that everyone will stop and slow down.
I cannot imagine the pain you and your loved ones are going through. No family should ever have to experience this. Prayers to you and your family.
Words cannot express how sorry we are for the loss all of you are going through. I haven’t cried this much in a long time. The video of Max, Stone and Addie truly broke my heart! But it was Ava’s words of “It’s Tangled” that made me smile. One of my daughter’s favorite movies (has even become her bedroom theme). And in reading your response to her, that movie will have a whole new meaning to me and I will forever be thinking about your family’s long lost princess! Prayers to you and your family!
utterly heartbreaking. the tears just keep coming… I’m so terribly sorry for your loss, what a gorgeous little girl. You have written such a beautiful, loving tribute, and I only wish it hadn’t been needed. Sending so many thoughts & prayers to your family, friends, and everyone who was touched by Olivia. *HUGS*
This took me 4 attempts to actually read. So beautiful Adrian. As time passes its hard to make sure that life doesn’t just take over. I try to make an effort every day to think about her, to talk to her. I don’t believe that time necessarily makes it easier, it just makes it a tad more bearable. We hope and pray for justice for the person responsible and if this story can save just one person, then thats huge. Well done, bro. Great Job
Your reality is my worst nightmare, as an aunt I can only imagine such a massive loss, for a parent… Words fail me. My deepest sympathy to you & all of olivia’s family, beautiful little girl, sleep gently and well.
I’m so, so very sorry for your loss, for your family’s loss of this precious little girl. My heart is broken for all of you.
My heart breaks for your family. We lost my nephew at 14 days old due to a fatal illness that was undiagnosed until he was a few days old. I hate to say it but it is the truth ~ the pain doesn’t go away. Every birthday, holiday, every time she should be experiencing a milestone (starting school, etc) your heart will ache for all of the things that Olivia won’t get to experience.
I will be praying for your family!
When a child dies, there are never enough words to answer “why.” I lost a brother, who I was graciously able to spend 17 of my 19 years with, but even those years seem too little. All I could rationalize – after much anger – was that he was too good for this earth. God needed him more than we did. And I will see him again.
Blessings and peace to your gorgeous family.
Remembering you in my prayers will not be difficult; thank you for sharing this. I am heartbroken that you have to live without her for now and miss her sweet face, but you have the promise that this beautiful little darling is sitting in paradise right now with the One who loves her and has healed her completely. Much love to your family and her parents and siblings.
I was never sure that I wanted to have children. But now at 40+, I can’t imagine my life without either my beautiful intelligent sensitive 9yr old girl, or my precocious happy loving 2yr old boy. They saved me from myself. I am so sorry for loosing your most precious tender soul in such a horrific way. I just hope that the two lovely children you all have are able to save you all from this terrible pain. I would never want to go through what you have suffered and respect and admire the community of love and strength that surrounds you all.
On a side note, and I know it will never bring back this wonderful baby, but did the reckless driver ever get caught? Not so much so that they could be punished but so that they could stop and learn what misery their selfish shortsightedness caused? So that they will forever stop and pay attention to all life around them. I pray most for that hopeless soul that they have learned a most unfortunate lesson.
Peace&Love be with you always.
Hi,
I don’t know your family. I saw your tribute in a tweet I received. It’s so touching that you took the time to put this together.
I’m sorry your family has experienced this profound loss. It seems like Olivia was a remarkable little girl. I imagine her memory and impact will live on for years and years. Best wishes to
Best wishes to your family in their healing and remembering!
I really can’t imagine what it feels like to lose a child. I just had my first in September and I can’t imagine life with out him. I don’t know how someone didn’t realize they hit something. It sounds like Olivia was very loved by her family, don’t ever let go of being close to your family. This was definitely a tragedy and a huge eye opener to how fast life changes. I lost a grandfather when I was 7 to a school shooting, he was the only positive male influence in my life, it crushed me. But I saw it rip my family apart and that was probably the worst thing that could happen. You and your family need each other more than ever. No matter what happens take the time to at least call each other once a day just to say you love them.
I wish you all the best, I give all my love and support to you and your family.
I just read your blog- thank you for sharing your heart and the heart of this beautiful baby and her family. A loss like this is something that we can never fathom in our minds. Not one life was changed that day but several. As the person who caused this accident life is forever changed as well.I cried while reading of the events-and of Olivia’s life-for sure she was precious and loved and now is safe in her maker’s arms-Jesus. Praying that the peace that only can come from the Lord surrounds Olivia’s family, and also praying for the one who caused this tragedy- the Lord is our great healer, I don’t know anyone that is involved-but please know that I have lifted you all up in prayer. Thank you for sharing about this angel named Olivia .
We learn the tragic loss of Olivia from Jen and Jennilee, our daughters. No puedo imaginar el dolor de estos padres y familiares con esta perdida irreparable. Quiero que sepan que desde Puerto Rico tienen una familia que los tiene en sus oraciones constante. Pidiendole a nuestro Padre por ustedes y toda su familia para que permanescan unidos siempre. Gracias Bill and Lee for your friendship.
Olivia has been the beautiful baby that many of us in Grayson have talked about for months now. My son was one of the kids playing when the accident happen. We will never forget her and pray often for God to give her family peace.
We have discussed this tragedy at work, at practices, playgroups etc. If nothing else, it has been a tragic reminder that the driver must stay aware of everything going on around them and not allow things to distract them.
As someone who knows what it is like to lose a sibling, my family and I will forever remember this precious family and pray you all have peace and comfort in your memories.
To Brooke: I’m so sorry. Im so so sorry that you and your family had this happen. I don’t know you – but I know Age (it was a beautifully written tribute) and I suffered a loss at a young age. Loss of a young life is nothing you wish on your very worst enemy. If I could find words to express empathy and promote healing it would be to:
– talk about her when she is on your mind. Everyone is probably thinking about her too.
– keep her on your lips and hang up the photos in your house. Be proud of what who she was and how much she was loved.
– don’t be amazed when you see something that you swear she made happen – a random balloon, a ladybug on your sleeve. She is thanking you for being a wonderful mommy to her and her siblings.
Grief and blame are no match for love and the belief that you will see her again.
With love, Shannon
I was at ISU with Brad and have only caught up with him on facebook. As a new mom, this goes beyond heartbreaking. As I try to imagine the wound this has left, I realize more and more that the feeling in the pit of my stomach must be multiplied by billions for them. After I heard this, I started to watch for break lights in parking lots and gave cars a few seconds more before I passed with the stroller. The only thing I can say is that Olivia, your little angel will not die in vain. I have and will continue to tell people your story so that no one will ever have to feel the pain that you are feeling. I continue to pray for you and your family everyday and I pray that you feel the warmth of God’s arms around you. This little girl will always be a light in your lives and we will keep her shining by sharing her story. Much love, Maria
Words could not say how sorry I am for your loss. Your family will be in my prayers.
What a beautiful tribute to your niece. Thank you so much for sharing these details, thoughts and touching pictures and videos. My family lives down the street from Olivia’s family and my 2 girls attend GUMP. Although I don’t personally know them, I pass their house every day and always send them a prayer. May God continue to comfort your entire family.
I have no words for the sorrow I feel at this story. I just wanted to add my condolences to the chorus. I have a 21 month old son and can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose him in any way. I don’t know your family, but I’m sending you all my love. Life has a lot of nerve going on after it completely devastates you…but I hope there will be joy for you all again.
I just want you to know that I hugged my son as tight as I possibly could after reading this story. We said a prayer to Liv and God to give all involved strength through this tragedy. What a beautiful little girl she was! 6 years 4 months 12 days…that’s how long I’ve been blessed with my son and I can not thank you enough for reminding me how precious that time truly is. Praying for you!
Sending hugs & love & prayers. I love this quote from Kahil Gibran in “The Prophet”-
: “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
I feel sure that Olivia’s spirit is with each of you & will be eternally. What a precious little angel. She taught all who knew her the true meaning of love.
Thanks Adrian for the blog. Ginny
I have known Brooke & Brad and the kids for a long time. When Brooke’s mom came in to Publix to tell us about Liv we all just broke down & cried. We love them like they are our family. I have seen Brad a few times and finally got the chance to see Brooke yesterday.As a mom it just breaks my heart to know that she has lost a precious angel. We will always remember how beautiful Liv was and how much she was loved by everyone that met her.
I cry every time I think about your tragic loss… Thank you for sharing this story and I pray you and your family grow stronger as the days go on. As a mother I could never fathom the thought of losing one of my little girls. Our thoughts and prayers to Oliva and her family
My heart goes out to you as you go through this horrific time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my son in a car accident and this organization was very helpful: http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx
Adrian, this was a beautiful tribute! It has taken me several days to get through this entire post because of the sobs it brings to me. My heart too was broken for what Brooke, Brad and all the Mayer’s, including my precious new daughter-in-law and son, have lost. Everyday I pray for the protection of all of our children and the healing of all those who havelost a beautiful child.
What a terrible, terrible tragedy. I’m so sorry to hear of your family’s loss.
I know its probably the last thing on your mind but your blog has given her a trully amazing tribute, well done
This post hurt me to my core. I cannot begin to understand why the type of things are able to happen to such innocent children. As a mother of 3, I can only imagine the pain that your family is feeling right now. Please know that you all will be in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry for your loss. How absolutely heartbreaking. And what a beautiful tribute. Thanks for sharing this painful story.
Horrible. Absolutely horrible. How did the driver not know they hit something?! Truly sorry for your family’s loss.
I can’t fathom the pain you are all experiencing, but again I can. We almost lost my daughter last year. She spent 4 months fighting for her life and while we were in the hospital, the emotions going through all of us were significant. We were to scared to allow the question of “What if she doesn’t make it” enter our minds, but they did every day. During that time, a friend’s husband and son, who was in a stroller, were hit while crossing the street. The husband made it, but their son did not. It was heartbreaking how in one instant, an innocent little one is taken. The time to grieve is so important, raw, surreal, and challenging since everyone grieves differently.
I send you much love and much support from afar. It makes the day to day realities of what is truly important so significant. People need to step back, not rush, and just focus on what counts. My heart is heavy for you, I am so sorry for what your entire family is going through.
I’ll share your post and know that more people will be sending prayers, support and wishes for love and laughter in upcoming times…even though it may seem so challenging now. How blessed Olivia was to only know a life of love and a family who adored her.
I can’t even leave a real comment…I’m just a puddle of tears over here. My heart is broken for all who knew Olivia. Tragic beyond measure… Sending love….
I have sat here as tears have rolled down my face. Heartbroken. My heart goes out to you and your family. You will stay in my prayers. e.
Words can not express my sadness about this tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you grieve this terrible loss. I will give my three kids an extra hug and kiss in the morning to honor dear Olivia and to not take these moments for granted.
Thank you for sharing such a touching tribute of a special angel.
If there is any way to help your family, please let me know. Till then, my heart and thoughts will be with you all. Take care.
My heart & deepest sympathy for your entire family. Clearly Oliva is one incredibly special angle. Feeling so grateful to have a chance to learn about her & feel so happy knowing that she is in a beautiful, wonderful place where she can look out for us all…especially her family. Oliva, thank you for sharing your incredible, beautiful & unbelaibly special presence with us all.
I came upon a link to your site on a good friend’s facebook page, and never before has clicking a mouse have such an overwhelming impact on my heart. I feel a pain for you and your family from my very soul. I also live in the Atlanta metro area. I have been a dad for 2 years 5 months and 1 day. I secretly acknowledge the day of my daughter’s birth as the day my life started, and if something ever happened to her…if she were taken from this world, that day would be the end of my life.
I don’t know why these things happen, and I stopped trying along time ago to understand them. The conclusion/belief I think comes the closest to any type of reasoning is that the birth of these precious babies is not only a gift of life to them, but the only pure blessing and evidence of God’s miracles. These angels are offered to us as reminders of God’s existence and abilities. After various lengths of time he brings these angels back to his hand for a greater purpose beyond our own understanding. What I have witnessed over time is that occasionally, God seems to need his most beautiful and heavenly angels more and more often, and the result is being blessed with a child of unprecedented grace, beauty, warmth and love… but only for a short time that, once over, feels like less than a moment.
God needed Olivia to help the entire world and through his strength and guidance, she will bring more to mankind in various ways on a scale greater than we could ever fathom.
I know this could never bring the comfort needed or alleviate a level of pain that I cannot imagine. However, instead of offering one more apology for your lose, I wanted to share with your from my heart and be one of many people who are trying to carry some of the pain for you and your family and wishing there was more they could do.
I firmly believe Olivia is and will always remain with you, to care for you and give you all strength… now and throughout your lives.
-Richard, Atlanta, GA
As Olivia’s grandmother, my heart aches everyday not only for my sweet, loving grandbaby but for my entire family as I watch them grieve, each in their own way. I love Adrian’s beautiful tribute to Olivia and I am so appreciative to each and every one of you that has taken the time to read it and share your thoughts and feelings with us. I explain to people that we don’t have good days and bad days….everyday is both good and bad and as a family we continue to talk and cry together as we learn to cope with our loss. Olivia embraced every day like no other child I’ve ever known. She was always happy; I can’t ever remember hearing her cry and maybe that’s because she was surrounded by so much love and affection especially from her mom and dad. She was, after all, their miracle baby. Her presence in this world will be forever missed. It is the thoughtfulness of friends and strangers and the kindness extended to our family that makes it possible for us to heal and for that I wish I could thank each of you personally.
Man, I am so sorry. Sorry for all of you and the pain. I am in the Atlanta area, let me know if there is anything I can do and If I am able I will try. I have no idea of what I would do and how I would handle it. Stay Strong and together as a unit.
Take Care, Scott
That was so hard to read, but I’m so glad you are sharing the story. I cannot even imagine the pain that your family is feeling.Blessings to you all.
Thank you for having the strength to write this so that other people might be helped. Olivia looks like she experienced great love in her short life and for that she was lucky.
I will keep your family in my prayers. I’m so sorry. What a precious soul who undoubtedly is with God.
I am so very sorry for everyone’s loss. This is just heartbreaking to hear. I’m praying for you all.
I am so very sorry. What a senseless loss. I will pass along your message. Thank you.
RichardB’s post is very similar to my feelings and beliefs. I too wish that I could carry some of the grief and alleviate some of your family’s. I have share this with all my FB friends as well as in person to as many as I can. I think of Olivia many times day. I hope that your family can find some level of peace from this unspeakable tragedy.
It is early January
I walk slowly uphill, the cadence seems to lessen my fatigue. I spot the small tribute to Olivia in the top of a pine tree near the southern edge of the summit dome. On a warm Saturday evening in October at exactly 6:10 pm, I had tied a collection of memorabilia taken from Lenore Park Fence to the top of a short needle pine. I fix my eyes and try to see the small pink and metallic pieces of ribbon but the light rain and darkening sky allow only a vague unfocused image and I can barely make out the strands blowing freely as the inclement weather builds with each upward step.
I reach the top and turn to face the advancing storm. I am greeted with a cold mix of wind and rain. I close my eyes and sense a pair of tiny arms holding me with wonderful intensity. Is it the wind or a warm small hand that rubs my cheek reassuringly, telling me that everything is alright? I see those bright blue eyes looking up at me with pure and absolute love. God, I learned more from those sweet knowing eyes than all the books I’ve read in my almost fifty nine years. She has changed me forever.
A tear rolls down my cheek, it mixes with the rain and drops upon the hard granite at my feet – There to begin the long inexorable passage to the sea, a sea who’s salty brine contains the sad, tearful ocean of lament of all who have come before to question the absurdity of life’s randomness and pain. I search for humility and understanding. Is it impertinence to question why? Shall I let the mystery be? But today I am comforted with only the knowledge that she is always with me and the absolute certainty that we will meet again at some yet uncertain hour.
I open my eyes as evening gathers in the western sky and the sun struggles through the clouds to shine light upon the many steeples amid the countryside below. Today I am thankful, if only that I can try to live my life in a manner that honors the memory of this gentle, sweet child who brought so much Joy and Love to each and every moment of her short life, thankful to the many who have given us strength with their kindness
and encouragement. Thankful that I had one year, one month and one day with this beautiful child.
I found your story on Twitter. I was the passenger in my car, my husband was driving and our newborn daughter was sleeping in her car seat. I cried. I just…cannot imagine the agony and the pain that your family, that sweet little baby and her mother have endured. I think of her every day now. Every single day I think of your Olivia and her mother and I cry for the senselessness of the act that took her from you and the pain I wish none of you had ever felt. I hold my little daughter closer. I slow down. I look both ways. I am so sorry.
I found the link to this from a facebook friend. I’ve never been more impacted by clicking a link in my life. I dont have words for how much this changed me. I wish I could carry some of the grief for your family….My prayers are with you. I will never forget your story, and will think about it often.
This just breaks my heart. The amount of tears I shed watching the video montage on youtube, reading this story, looking at her photos is probably so small compared to the hurt your family has gone through over the loss of this beautiful little girl. My heart goes out to you all.
Continuing to think of you all. Beautiful tribute Adrian.
saved the pic because i love music , then i read the blog .. very sad ,,,,,,
Im so saddened by the tradjedy you have all had to endure. I live in Australia, a mum to Bernadette and Caleb. My heart is torn apart having read the untimely passing of your gorgeous little Olivia. I pray for you all and thank you for sharing your photos, videos and words. Life is precious, thank for opening my eyes all that more wider. God bless you ALL. Your little princess will forever remain in your hearts …and a little girl i will remember too. xxxx
I PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL SO PRECIOUS .THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR VIDEOS AND PHOTOS.GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY.
I have one Olivia, she is the light of may life with her big brother Sebastian. I wish your family Pace… I Know it is difficult but she is looking after you all.Olivia will live forever in your hart.
This heart wrenching tribute to your sweet niece Olivia brought me to tears. When news broke of this horrific story, it hit me close to home because it happened in my home community. As an expectant mom at that time, I could not fathom loosing your infant under such tragic circumstances. My heart grieves for you and your family for the loss you have endured. I hope Olivia continues to live on in the memories of the love and joy she brought into your lives and as a reminder for all of us to slow down and be vigilant in parking lots and pedestrian areas.
I have never met you or your family, but I am sitting at my computer weeping for your loss. It’s unexplainable how something like this could happen. Know that if it was possible, I would offer to bear a little bit of the pain for your sister-in-law. As a mom of 2, I can’t even begin to fathom this tragedy and my heart breaks for her and her husband. May they eventually find peace.
I have no words at the moment, only tears streaming down my face. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I hope the scars heal over time and that when you think of Olivia you remember the happy times.
I cannot imagine…to loose a child. Heart wrenching. My thoughts are with the family.
This has broken my heart, I sat reading through tears.
But it is a sad reminder that babies walking and in strollers are out of the line of sight for drivers. I will never forget her nor her story and have shared this with my baby group of 125 mamas in hopes it saves even one child.
Bless your family.
A beautiful tribute for a beautiful girl. God bless you all.
Jesus, Adrian. I am so incredibly sorry. No one should ever have to go through what your family is going through. Sending Brooke, Brad, Max, Stone and Addie love and hugs from a stranger in Seattle.
–Meredith
Thank you for sharing your story. Truely touched me. You are right…we all need to stop and appreciate what we have rightin front of us. I’m sorry for your lossand your families.
You make us cry and love through this post for your sweet Angel Baby niece. I found you at the Mom Blog community at G+ and will share this blog post on my @ViralMarketMom twitter. Much love to your family and especially Olivia’s sister.
Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry. So, so sorry… I gasped for breath as I read what happened. I’m praying most for the mama who had to watch her baby die. Oh, my gosh… :'(
I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my breath as I read how you lost this sweet girl.
I am so sorry you and your family had to survive this tragedy. So much love to you all.
I am in tears because nobody should leave this world so senselessly.. especially not a sweet baby!
My heart is with the Mom and all of you.
What a beautiful send off. And yes, Ava, it was just like Rapunzel. Those words will live with you forever I’m sure Dad.
Blessings to all of you.
To the parents and family of this dear little girl, I am no one that you know. I read Adrian’s book which is how I read this post. I just want you all to know that my thoughts are with you. Losing one so young is every parent’s worst nightmare, and one that no person should have to experience. Hopefully, there can be some solace taken from the knowledge that Olivia’s story has touched thousands of people’s lives and that every single one of those lives in return sends your family nothing but love.
I am in tears reading this. Your family is in my thoughts. Sweet Olivia.
I can’t even begin to imagine what you all are feeling. And I can’t fathom how someone could run over someone more than once. And I’m not sure that I could ever find a way to forgive that person for the damage caused my family. I pray for all of you as you cope with the loss of your precious daughter and as you recover from the physical and emotional scars. Such a sad, sad situation.
So very sorry, can’t say anything more.
@Bob’o Oh Bob. My heart still breaks for you and your family. Unimaginable pain.
@Elaine (Liv’s Laine Laine) Love you Laine Laine.
im 12 and children but I do have a 2 little brothers andd a little sister I was was pretty much sobbing that how sad that was
This is my first, but not last, time reading this. Thank you for sharing so intimately of your family’s grief. After my husband’s death, I changed the way that I approach life. My new mantra became “Be in the moment, one second at a time.” Prayers for the continued healing of your family. Peace does not come easily, nor is there an “end” to the pain. The memories you’ve captured in on video and film help alot, especially during the low moments.
as a mom and grandmother of 7 I cannot imagine how you have endured this pain only with gods help I am sure.
my heart is breaking for all of you !
god bless,
karen
@Misty Brevaldo hımm. http://eon.businesswire.com/news/eon/20130216005021/en/text-your-ex-back/text-your-ex-back-review/text-your-ex-back-reviews
Horrible. Absolutely horrible. How did the driver not know they hit something?! Truly sorry for your family’s loss.http://eon.businesswire.com/news/eon/20130216005021/en/text-your-ex-back/text-your-ex-back-review/text-your-ex-back-reviews
Hugs to you and your family. Such important lessons here.
As I read this …I am wiping away my tears…I remember being there as we lit the candles…and watching as they floated away .., bringing back the sad memories of our own forever child …Cassie Marie Burgamy…may 9; 1989/…exactly one week before my birthday which was also her due date…I can’t find the words to express how much it hurts….but just wanted you to know that you are not alone….we’ll always be there with a shoulder for you to lean on and provide any assistance if you need us. We love you guys……. Frankie and Angie Burgamy
Wow, wow, wow. How horribly tragic, just devastating.
Oh so sorry for your loss. I just lost many tears reading this. I can not speak for your loss….but I can say as a small child I was hit by a van and I am lucky to have survived with no serious injuries…..but now I am very fearful for my own children when we cross streets. Much love to you and your family.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. What a beautiful angel she is watching over all of you. I am so thankful you shared your story with us as a very important reminder to slow down and enjoy life. I am sending so much love to you and your family.
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