As parents, it's important to instill good values and morals within your children. As a father to a daughter, it's especially important to be a positive male influence and hope that one day, when she decides to marry, she chooses the right partner. If I don't want Ava to date Hannibal Lecter, then … [Read more...] about Mr. Wonderful.
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REFRIGERATOR THERAPIST #7: Whass Dat?
My daughter has recently released the newest interactive version in her speaking game collection entitled, 'Whass Dat?' The rules are simple. Walk around all day pointing and touching different things wherever we go, look up at me and hit me with the question like machine gun fire. At first I … [Read more...] about REFRIGERATOR THERAPIST #7: Whass Dat?
Toddler In The Midst.
Taking a page out of the 'Dian Fossey Book', I spent the last 18 months living amongst a young greyback gorilla that I named Ava, documenting our time together and attempting to be friends. We passed the time by gathering food, making grunting noises and picking bugs off one another. We swung … [Read more...] about Toddler In The Midst.
The Great Pit Of Carkoon.
Last week we went to meet some friends for brunch. For those who are unaware, brunch is a fake meal in between breakfast and lunch, most likely made up years ago by parents who wanted to get the hell out of the house in between toddler naps. Our friends have a beautiful daughter a few months … [Read more...] about The Great Pit Of Carkoon.
DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #13: Knowledge Sucks.
ME: Honey, why aren't you eating those black olives? AVA: It's kind of tough to chew those while I'm sucking the knowledge out of this baby head. I want to learn faster Dad! ME: Ava, you can't learn things any quicker by eating peoples brains. I have to teach you. You're learning new … [Read more...] about DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #13: Knowledge Sucks.
Long Live The King!
Her majesty sat quietly in the Fisher-Price throne, whacking away at some of Barbara's Peanut Butter Puffins while humming along to The Backyardigans. It almost seemed as if she was scheming. I took a five-minute 'mini-vacation' to perform a gray hair count in the bathroom. As I sulked (found 4) … [Read more...] about Long Live The King!
