Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care... ...as Daddy stain-sticked his kids underwear. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, Benadryl seemed the most … [Read more...] about ‘Twas The Night I Tried To Use The Bathroom Alone…
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EAT YOUR HEART OUT #5: Peppermint Cocoa Swizzle Sticks.
Let’s play pretend. You’re standing on the rim of a giant mug of steamy, creamy, dreamy hot chocolate. Big enough that you could jump in and drink your way out. You know, something like this: Or better yet… you could jump in armed with a giant chocolate dipped, peppermint studded … [Read more...] about EAT YOUR HEART OUT #5: Peppermint Cocoa Swizzle Sticks.
This Is Christmas?
So. Here we are in the first week of December. I'm sorry, but WASN'T IT JUST JUNE? Anyway, I've gotta come clean with anyone still reading. As I've probably mentioned, last year I sold a book to Penguin Publishing based on this very blog. I had a year to write it, but just like cleaning the … [Read more...] about This Is Christmas?
AVA FULL OF GRACE #3: It Puts The Lotion In The Basket.
Sometimes I feel like I have a perpetual headache. Not just an occasional sharp pain behind your eyeball here or there, I'm talking about the legitimate feeling that a team of miners were using sharp forks and dynamite to excavate my cranial walls. If it weren't for the obvious non-stop … [Read more...] about AVA FULL OF GRACE #3: It Puts The Lotion In The Basket.
OTHER PEOPLE’S PARENTS #9: An Open Letter To My Future Tween Daughter.
Dear Ava, One day, long before your Dad and I are even remotely prepared, you are going to be a tween. Yes, just over that six year old horizon lies an awkward, confusing stage that you will look back on from your young adult coolness with complete disdain. So to prepare you for your impending … [Read more...] about OTHER PEOPLE’S PARENTS #9: An Open Letter To My Future Tween Daughter.
Porn For Moms.
I may not have the courage or physique to do the shirtless fireman calendar pose or stand under a waterfall in my Levi's flexing my abs... But I have a pretty good idea of how to make up for it. HAPPY FRIDAY MOMS! … [Read more...] about Porn For Moms.
