A few weeks ago, I took Ava to the pediatrician (so I could get ripped off by the valet again) for a check-up. I signed us in and took a seat. Ava went directly to the chalkboard and got to work.
Any time she finds something that will hold her attention for more than a few minutes, I sit back and use it as one of several mental ‘mini-vacations’ throughout my day. I turned into a zombie, my head and neck still, staring at the corner of the ceiling, comatose.
Sometimes I daydream about winning the lotto with a bunch of people from work (I don’t have a job), hiring a nanny and buying the Phillies. Sometimes it’s just about stream fishing for trout in Montana or hiring a topless maid.
Watching Ava with the chalk, it got me thinking about how our teachers used to make us stay inside at lunch as punishment, writing sentences over and over again. I thought I would give Ava a few suggestions of what to write:
1. I will not bend and crumple my flash cards.
2. I will not throw food at my dad.
3. Whining for no reason annoys people.
4. Acting like my legs don’t work and falling to the floor in a heap is embarrassing for everyone.
5. I will not squirm while getting my diaper changed.
But then I started to think, maybe I’m not the only one with complaints. I’m sure I do some things that she’s not wild about, or maybe there are some things I could do better:
1. I will read Ava ‘Pat the Bunny’ 15 times in a row every night before bed.
2. I will not embarrass Ava by following her around the playground.
3. Mineral deodorant does not work for me.
4. I will not leave old curdled bottles of milk in my car for several days.
5. I will not mutilate the ‘Bubble Guppies’ theme song when singing it aloud.
The nurse came into the lobby, waving her hand in front of my face saying my daughters name. I snapped out of my hypnosis and looked over to see the progress that we’d made on the chalkboard while waiting.
No words, no sentences, just a few scraggly lines and something that might be a circle with a little help. Oh well.
As we headed back to the exam room, I grabbed a piece of chalk and quickly wrote ‘KEEP DREAMIN‘.