October is birthday time around these parts. First, my wife, then my daughter. It's a double wallet crusher that somehow always catches me off-guard, sprinting around town collecting gift receipts the day before. This was the first birthday with Ava involved, so it put a decent amount of pressure … [Read more...] about From The Heart.
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Chute First, Ask Questions Later.
Over the last few months, as Ava has grown older, the playground has become a staple in our daily routine. It allows her to interact with other toddlers and affords me the opportunity to pretend like I'm not looking at other moms bending over to pick up toys. Generally, I'm the only dad there, … [Read more...] about Chute First, Ask Questions Later.
Almost Amber Alert.
As a kid, I remember my Dad always being a huge fan of naps. He would cut the lawn on a Sunday afternoon and delegate the job of raking the clippings to me. Evidently the old man didn't believe in replacing the catch-bag on the mower after it had worn out. As a junior landscape manager, I let … [Read more...] about Almost Amber Alert.
You Be The Judge.
BAILIFF: Ladies and Gentlemen of the courtroom, would you please rise for the honorable imaginary judge. JUDGE: Everyone sit the hell down so we can get this over with. We all have better stuff to do online today; surfing porn, checking Groupon, finally giving in to LinkedIn … [Read more...] about You Be The Judge.
The Adventures Of Candlehead.
Faster than a Playtex fast-flow nipple. More powerful than a juiced-up toddler. Able to leap into a King bed with Mom & Dad in a single bound. LOOK. UP IN THE SKY! IT'S A BIRD. IT'S A PLANE. No. Sorry assholes, it's not 'Fat Adrian'. Mortifying, eh? Maybe next … [Read more...] about The Adventures Of Candlehead.
DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #14: Literally.
LITERALLY. SEND HELP. WAIT. My daughter seems to be in the bathroom hovering around me curiously while I take my meeting, handing me toys, pointing at me and saying 'pee' and 'pew'. Fantastic, I'll ask her for help. You guys go back to work. … [Read more...] about DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #14: Literally.
