dads in deep shit
Posts Tagged ‘dads in deep shit’
Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Earlier today, unbeknownst to you, it came in the form of this guy. Unfortunately, here he is again… All 6’1″ and 230 pounds of mouth-breathing sexiness with stickers on his face. He may not look like much, but after making the kids breakfast, packing their lunches and running
“We’re gonna need a wet clean-up in aisle two”, I heard over the PA system of my local grocery store. We froze in our tracks, tipped our hats and offered a curtsy towards the other shoppers in our vicinity. I’d love to tell you that this was the first and last time this ever happened,
Getting through the holidays without having to administer some form of antibiotics is tough, especially for our family. When it’s all said and done, we travel up and down the eastern seaboard, staying in Philly, DC and Atlanta for almost three weeks. I could follow my kids around 24 hours-a-day wearing a fertilizer backpack sprayer
Just because I haven’t bragged (since November) about starting a high-chair tray-top on fire, turning my kids clothes into hand puppets or accidentally walking into the grocery store with a Hitleresque poop smear mustache on my face, doesn’t mean that I haven’t been in the shit. I offer you Exhibit A.
ME: Honey, why aren’t you eating those black olives? AVA: It’s kind of tough to chew those while I’m sucking the knowledge out of this baby head. I want to learn faster Dad! ME: Ava, you can’t learn things any quicker by eating peoples brains. I have to teach you. You’re learning new stuff everyday.
AVA: Hey Dad, if you weren’t such a Mary, you would ignore that asshole sign behind us and start this bad boy up. Let’s hit the freeway and find a Prius to crush! ME: Ava, you know your Mom would have my ass in a hat. What if I take you down this kamikaze potato