Dad’s In Deep Sh!t

OMFG. There he is. Right in the middle of it.

Apr30

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #27 – King Arthur Lives.

3 comments

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Earlier today, unbeknownst to you, it came in the form of this guy. Unfortunately, here he is again… All 6’1″ and 230 pounds of mouth-breathing sexiness with stickers on his face. He may not look like much, but after making the kids breakfast, packing their lunches and running

Feb18

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #28 – TEENY HOUDINI.

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With the recent birth of our third child, I’ve felt confident that Ava (4½) and Charlie (2½) were in a pretty good place for the most part, able to listen and follow most directions and on occasion even lend a hand with the baby.  Ava has been a great big sister so far, helping to

Oct22

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #26 – Is That Chocolate?

6 comments

I’ve always wanted to be on a game show…but never realized that my dreams had already come true.  I’ve been on one for the last four years and never even knew it. I’ve been living life as a contestant on one of the most riveting hidden-camera competitions to date.  It’s not for the faint of

Feb28

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #25: Clean Up On Aisle Two.

14 comments

“We’re gonna need a wet clean-up in aisle two”, I heard over the PA system of my local grocery store.  We froze in our tracks, tipped our hats and offered a curtsy towards the other shoppers in our vicinity.  I’d love to tell you that this was the first and last time this ever happened,

Jan24

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #24: Banksy’s Buried Treasure.

5 comments

My mom raised three boys in the country outside of Philadelphia.  Once June came around and school was out, she changed her hours at the hospital and worked nights so she could be at home during the day. I’m sure that part of it was wanting to enjoy the time with her kids, but logic

Jan14

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #23: Paging Doctor Mommy.

10 comments

Getting through the holidays without having to administer some form of antibiotics is tough, especially for our family.  When it’s all said and done, we travel up and down the eastern seaboard, staying in Philly, DC and Atlanta for almost three weeks.  I could follow my kids around 24 hours-a-day wearing a fertilizer backpack sprayer

Oct23

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #22: My Wife’s Nightstand.

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I figured that after some apple puffs, Charlie and I could chill out and rap about why Humpty Dumpty keeps falling down.  Or maybe even how Goldilocks is high-maintenance about her porridge and whose bed she sleeps in and how sometimes this parallels real life. But during one of my manic cleaning episodes (utilizing Charlie

Jun6

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #21: The Cosmetic Surgeon.

7 comments

I’m a guy.  Luckily for my wife, I’ve always been a guy.  I know about guy stuff.  Between my dad and two younger brothers, we’ve got everything under the ‘umbrella of dude knowledge’ covered.  We know construction, fishing, sports and on occasion, when a situation demands it, unhooking bras with our teeth. Don’t get me

May16

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #20: Shit Happens.

6 comments

I heard the muffled growl from the other room and looked to the sky in prayer.  I blew on the imaginary dice and threw them against the velvet bumper inside my head, hoping it was only gas. As you can see, my run was over.  No dry fire on this one.  I crapped out.  Literally.

May4

DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #19: Hammertime.

4 comments

Just because I haven’t bragged (since November) about starting a high-chair tray-top on fire, turning my kids clothes into hand puppets or accidentally walking into the grocery store with a Hitleresque poop smear mustache on my face, doesn’t mean that I haven’t been in the shit. I offer you Exhibit A.