With the recent birth of our third child, I’ve felt confident that Ava (4½) and Charlie (2½) were in a pretty good place for the most part, able to listen and follow most directions and on occasion even lend a hand with the baby. Ava has been a great big sister so far, helping to bathe Mason, tell him stories and generally occupy his time. Of course she still has her own individual issues like eating lip gloss and stealing things from her classmates at preschool, but who doesn’t?
On the other hand, we have Charlie, who I’ve recently nicknamed, Biff.
Perhaps I’ve been a little too over-confident as of late, attempting to potty-train him while also reacquainting myself with the rigors of having a newborn.
As I cleared the lunch plates the other day and excused the kids, I heard Biff yelling ‘POTTY!’ from the other room. “Go ahead, buddy, you can use the potty, what a big boy!”
And then he came around the corner with a toilet seat stuck around his head. Like, LEGITIMATELY stuck around his head. To the point where I was considering my lubricant options…Pam? Butter? Vaseline?
Are you fucking serious? In what world would he think this was some sort of necklace?Maybe I have a future Copperfield or Houdini on my hands. Maybe he’ll become a master of illusion or king of the cuffs? Or maybe he’ll be neither of those. Maybe the only thing he’ll ever try to escape from, is me showing this picture to his prom date in 15 years. Only time can tell…
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Adrian Kulp is a blogger, author, TV producer and full-time stay-at-home dad. His first book for Penguin Publishing, a comedic parenting memoir, debuted in May of 2013. He currently writes Dad or Alive, as well as for The Huffington Post. He’s a member of Target’s Inner Circle and a contributor to Kids in the House. He most recently produced ‘Modern Dads’ for A&E and moderated a panel on fatherhood at Dad Summit 2.0 in New Orleans in January of 2014.