Last week we were out running errands and all of the sudden….TRUE STORY.
AVA: Daddy, I’m almost 3. This many. (holds up 3 fingers) DADDY, LOOK AT MY FINGERS!
ME: Ava, I’m driving right now, wait one second until we get to the stoplight.
AVA: And right now I’m two. This many.
WE PULL UP TO A RED LIGHT AND I QUICKLY LOOK IN THE BACK.
ME: Yes, you’re 2 now and you’ll be 3 next week! Isn’t that exciting?
AVA: And I used to be 1. This many. DADDY LOOK. DADDY LOOK!
I TURN TO FACE THE STOPLIGHT, WAITING FOR THE GREEN. GUY BEHIND ME STARTS HONKING HIS HORN. I SEE HIM IN MY REAR-VIEW HOLDING HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR BARKING AT HIS WINDSHIELD. THE LIGHT IS STILL RED AND I’M ABOUT TO GET OUT AND SEE WHAT’S UP THIS GUYS ASS.
AVA: DADDY, LOOK, I used to be 1!
ME: Ava, not now honey, this guy behind me has the wild eyes. I need to focus.
AS I’M WATCHING THE GUY IN MY REAR-VIEW, HE’S SIGNALING LIKE HE WANTS TO THROW DOWN AT THE INTERSECTION. I POP OFF MY SEAT BELT JUST IN CASE THIS MANIAC GETS OUT AND DOES SOMETHING DUMB.
AVA: Daddy look, I used to be 1.
FRUSTRATED, I TURN TO AVA IN THE BACK…
…TELLING THE GUY BEHIND US THAT SHE USED TO BE 1.
HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY AVA. LOVE YOU!