comedy
Posts Tagged ‘comedy’
My Accountant Told Me To Get a Job.
1 comment“You should get a job”, my accountant said to me, as my wife and I sat across from him in his office in early April, preparing our tax returns. Let’s get one thing straight. I’ve always fancied myself as a lover, not a fighter. I’ve almost always tried to avoid violence as a way to
Moms Are One of a Kind.
4 commentsNOTE FROM THE EDITOR: As I’ve mentioned before in ‘Jump in, Your Nightmare is Warm’, I recently performed a reading of an original piece at the Synetic Theater in Arlington, Virginia for the annual ‘Listen To Your Mother’ series. As you can tell, aside from looking like a gargantuan Paul Bunyan, I was the only
Jump In, Your Nightmare is Warm.
3 commentsSo last night, I had an absolutely wonderful dream, er, nightmare. As I stood in the darkness behind the curtain, with the laughter and crying from the performer ahead of me dying down, there was a chilling silence. The director was making my introduction to stage and the panic hit me like a ton of
Terrible Two’s: Easy Like Sunday Morning.
15 commentsA few days ago, a buddy of mine asked me for advice on becoming a new parent. I told him that I was no expert… I only do what works for me. But I didn’t want to leave him hanging, so I gave him a few of my ‘bread n’ butters’. I told him to
The Curse of a Filthy Mouth.
2 commentsAs far as I can remember, I didn’t grow up with a foul mouth. As kids, my parents didn’t really shield me or my brothers from bad words, but they certainly didn’t duct tape us to chairs in the basement and make us watch George Carlin videos either. I guess we just understood that
Remembering Olivia.
9 commentsFor those of you that follow me, you’ll remember two stories that I recently wrote entitled 1 Year, 1 Month, 1 Day and Two Young To Go. A little over a year ago, I lost my niece and my brother-in-law & sister-in-law lost their 13-month old daughter to a reckless and negligent driver in a parking
AVA FULL OF GRACE #5: Get To Steppin’.
11 commentsRecently Ava is going through this phase where, after we put her and Charlie to bed, she sneaks back down the stairs to see what ‘mommy and daddy time’ is all about. Maybe she thinks she’s going to stumble in on us making a big heroin deal or having some Eyes Wide Shut party in
DAD’S IN DEEP SH!T #25: Clean Up On Aisle Two.
10 comments“We’re gonna need a wet clean-up in aisle two”, I heard over the PA system of my local grocery store. We froze in our tracks, tipped our hats and offered a curtsy towards the other shoppers in our vicinity. I’d love to tell you that this was the first and last time this ever happened,
A Dad and His Daughter.
15 commentsSleep is a valuable commodity around these parts right now. Up until last night, I’ve been waking up on a pile of blankets on the floor of my son’s room. Unless you have amnesia or were competing in the Iditarod, you’ll remember that I stoked the coals of the internet for a few days last
EAT YOUR HEART OUT #6: VALENTINE’S DAY DINNER – SAHD STYLE
1 commentNY Strip & Brie Sandwiches, Baby Green Salad with Dijon Vinaigrette AND Vanilla Ice Cream with Candied Rosemary Apples & Walnuts… February. The second most commercially celebrated month in America. Women all over are secretly pining for brighter bling, a smellier flower arrangement or a more fattening box of chocolates than any of their co-workers
