ADRIAN – As a child, I remember waving good-bye to my Mom from the school bus on my first day of kindergarten, going fishing with my Dad on the weekends and spending summers at the Jersey Shore. I collected Legos, joined the Boy Scouts and knocked my front tooth out chasing a fly ball. I was baptised in my parents church and became an older brother twice. I touched the Liberty Bell and made the front of the local newspaper planting a tree on Arbor Day.
As a teenager I worked on a farm and rode endless miles on my BMX bike. I ran cross-country, got into my first fistfight and learned a second language. I got my drivers license, became an editor of my high school yearbook, kissed my first girlfriend while wearing braces, wore a varsity jacket and went to the prom. Shortly after, I left for college, pledged a fraternity and toured with Phish. I broke my nose twice and was mugged in Mexico. I gave the eulogy at my best friends funeral and crawled out of a burning apartment that took everything I owned.
I left Pennsylvania at age twenty-one after totaling my truck on a snowy highway. I spent four days on a one-way train from Philadelphia to Los Angeles and learned how to surf in the Pacific Ocean. I bought a 1969 Volkswagen, lived in a warehouse and bought a dog.
I’ve stood on the Hoover Dam, climbed a 10,000+ foot peak and walked miles in waist-deep snow in the Smoky Mountains. I’ve slept at the base of a Sequoia Tree, worn a tuxedo to the American Comedy Awards, shaken hands with Buzz Aldrin and smoked a cigar with Dave Matthews.
I worked for Adam Sandler for 7 years and flipped a jet ski at my bachelor party. I’ve booked comics on ‘The Late Late Show’ for CBS, spent a year working for Chelsea Handler and was married 30 stories above Boston’s North End.
Recently I endured the loss of my 1-year old niece, killed by a careless driver. We picked up and moved the crew from LA to DC, a new place with no friends.
If that weren’t enough, I’m now experiencing my biggest challenge, as an unexpected, full-time stay-at-home Dad, taking care of my 4 year-old daughter, Ava, two year-old son, Charlie and newborn, Mason. This past year, I’ve written and published a comedic memoir for New American Library/Penguin Publishing, produced ‘Modern Dads’ for A&E and am working with Sony Pictures Television & Happy Madison Productions on a scripted TV show, based on Dad or Alive.
JEN – As a child, I remember playing school in my parent’s garage, going to Brownies, collecting waterbugs at the creek and watching every episode of All My Children with my mom. I babysat constantly, collected Nancy Drew and Sweet Valley Twins, played the flute a grade ahead, and had my beautiful pink coat trashed by a bully the first day I wore it.
As a tween, I lost a brother during pre-term birth, loved and supported my parents, and decided I was destined to be a mom. I won three international awards for videos I produced, hosted our school’s news magazine show, and had a crush on a douchebag named “Alan G” who spit in my hair.
In high school, I drove my mom’s Ford Aerostar (I will never own a mini-van), wore braces with hot pink rubber bands (did I mention I will never own a minivan?), played on the tennis team and learned French. I interned for Aaron Spelling, won a theatre scholarship, and was accepted into a prestigious film program.
I remember my mom leaving me at college, feeling true independence for the first time and becoming a new person. I highlighted my hair, started working for The Florida Lottery and became a barista at Aristotle’s Coffee Garage.
As an adult, I’ve moved across the country twice, met my best friends, raised three Boston Terriers, worked on Emmy-Award nominated shows, and was at the final season taping of Friends. I’ve worked at Comedy Central, created a show with Susan Lucci (talk about coming full circle), met my husband in a bar and never stepped foot into the Pacific Ocean even though I lived on the beach for 11 years.
I’ve become an aunt six times, lost my baby niece to a careless driver, grieved as a family and explained heaven to my then two-year old daughter. I’ve grown three amazing lives in my own belly. They are by far my biggest accomplishment.
But now I’m experiencing my biggest challenge–I’ve become a working executive wife and mom, developing and producing reality TV shows. I pump during conference calls, in edit bays, and on Acela rides to NYC. I show up “just in time” for play groups, gym class and pediatrician visits, while negotiating a constant stream of new development deals. But as they say, “you can’t have it all” so some things have had to change… I’ve given over reigns of the bills, grocery shopping , cooking and housekeeping (partially to a housekeeper) and taught my husband how to accessorize our daughter. I’ve made mistakes, had huge successes and ginormous failures and I’m truly happy in my own skin. I’ve realized that as much as we try to make it look easy–it sure as hell ain’t.
She started walking at ten months and her first word was Dada. Her interests have evolved from lipstick, Buzz Lightyear and collapsing her body while screaming in the middle of the grocery store to earrings, nail polish, Shopkins and taking pride in being the ‘big sister’.
Her hobbies include getting her little brother Charlie in a headlock, pretending to ride Charlie and also throwing things at Charlie. She adores Mason and thinks he’s a doll. She loves to defy her mommy, which allows daddy to occasionally swoop in and play the hero, until she then defies daddy–causing both of her parents to pull their hair out in clumps. Her vocabulary is ever-expanding, her reading skills are getting stronger by the day… she’s a great singer and has the coveted Mayer artistic genes.
She has just started Kindergarten and is loving it. She thinks she has ‘Frozen’ powers in her hands and after a rash of pocketing toys from school, has her parents worried that they’re raising a kleptomaniac.
Ava hopes to one day ‘go to work and do the emails’, just like mommy.
CHARLIE – Charlie has spent his first four years allowing his big sister to speak for him. Recently, he determined that ‘enough was enough’. Considering he is almost the same height and weight of Ava, he speaks up for himself and if that doesn’t work, he tackles his sister to the ground and sits on her. He wins. His dad thinks he’ll end up as a defensive lineman, professional wrestler or an enforcer for the mafia. His karate chops can cost you an appendage if you’re not paying attention.
He likes robots, baseball (except during practice and games) and will not stop yammering about us “texting” Imaginext Superheroes on YouTube at 5:30am. He’s extremely excited about his transition from underwear to boxers. His long buttcrack has made the news and he frequently laughs after passing gas. He will do anything for salami and loves to ignore his mommy and daddy.
He loves Annie’s fruit snacks, his iPad and wears socks on his hands whenever he can. Charlie hopes to one day be a “mad wolf.”
MASON – Mason still is the ‘new guy’. He’s only 20 months old but rapidly approaching the we-don’t-refer-to-him-in-months-anymore stage… He loves “kikis” (cookies) and having one fingernail painted. He loves Car-Cars, his dog Cooper (who he calls GoGo), and anything sweet. He has completely mastered the art of climbing up onto the island in the kitchen to be closer to the desserts.
Surprise! As a Kulp, he’s also a boob man and I’m pretty sure he’s given me the finger while feeding–he refuses to wean even though that tap is about dry–trust me. He’s our first child that lost their hair a few weeks after birth. Not just that, but he lost it in a male-patttern baldness horseshoe shape, inspiring us to nickname him ‘Costanza’.