Flying the red-eye with an infant isn’t as glamorous as banging a flight attendant in a 737 bathroom on the way to your buddy’s bachelor party in Vegas, but it does have its perks. Wait, no, it doesn’t. It doesn’t have any perks. Welcome to being the disease. If you want to know what it was like having leprosy in…
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The days of eating out of vending machines and recycling underwear were over. No longer would I have to touch my rear to a foreign toilet seat, watch sports in standard-definition, or remember the names of 30 rotating nurses. We were back on home turf. After we carried Ava into the house, I spent some time lugging flowers and gifts…
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The last day or two at the hospital had been more routine and while Ava slept, I found myself making the rounds, exchanging gossip with Phyllis in the gift shop or Greg, the line chef in the basement cafe. My slippers and wristband identified me as a new Dad. Unless you’ve been able to experience it firsthand, you wouldn’t know…
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One of the benefits of being a Dad, aside from not having to go through surgery or shoot a human out of your vagina, is being able to walk into the hospital lounge after delivery and announce the birth. In my case, we had already divulged the sex of the baby to everyone, so I was basically filling in the…
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As we walked through our final set of electronic double-doors, we entered an isolated hallway outside of the operating room. I quickly scanned the area, taking inventory of my surroundings in the event the impossible happens and I need to go Jack Bauer on someone’s ass during a hostile takeover. Two chairs, a janitor cart with implements, a wheelchair and an…
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