As some of you may have seen in recent weeks, Shout® had reached out to me with an intriguing opportunity. Clearly someone tipped them off to my bold and outlandish personality.
However, they moved forward knowing the few wits I still had about me (SAHD+6 years+3 kids/no sleep x fulltime blogger = [do the hard math] = I should be committed) to commandeer my middle-age man legs, plus those of 10 good friends to lead the charge at The Color Run™, right here around the National Harbor, in our nation’s capital.
I have to say that this turned out to be one of the best Sunday mornings that I’ve had in a long time.
Not because I was poised behind the stovetop griddle, flipping pancakes and crisping bacon for my ‘team’ as they were fighting over Shopkins, an Aquaman figurine or why someone broke the crayons in half, ripped off the paper and fed them to the dog.
No, not because of that.
And not just because I hired a sitter to alleviate the issues behind trying to get three kids under six to run, walk or LITERALLY crawl a 5k, but rather, the fact that I had some time to spend with my wife and a few good friends.
These days, despite being very important, finding time alone as a couple or with adults is… a challenge.
As most parents might agree, this road we’ve chosen to embrace is long and not without its bumps or hurdles. And I love every minute of it, despite its level of emotional complexity.
Though, some things have certainly changed over the past six years.
One, my kids don’t barf on my head anymore.
However, they still find it their natural-born duty in life to create the maximum level of chaos and subsequent mess that comes with it. And as the stay-at-home dad and primary caregiver, I find myself dealing with the result of this bedlam.
I’ll be the first one to admit that my first several attempts at laundry as a married man were not good. I crushed it as a single guy. Everything was -WASH COLD – DRY NORMAL. Evidently, not everyone wears ONLY cotton or suffers from the same BBQ and ranch stains that I did.
My wife used to own a beautiful pink cashmere sweater.
It now fits my 20-pound Boston Terrier, barely.
This onesie. Honestly, that’s all that I have to say.
I blew it.
At the time, I didn’t have enough hours under my belt to understand how Shout® might be able to up my street cred. Not only do they offer a spray – Shout® Triple-Acting Stain Remover – (which is what I typically use), but they’ve also released portable Shout® Wipes – a total plus for someone like me because my messes tend to travel.
The game is changing, and I’m struggling to keep up.
It’s not just tossed-up breast-milk, ketchup and grass stains that I’m fearing….
…I’m huddled in my panic room thinking about organic baby food infused with Sriricha (I have spicy kids, don’t judge), kombucha or kale – along with both the front and back end of that deal.
A few days after my experience with Team Shout®, we took a trip down South (commonly known as ‘The Dirty South’, as most of their stains are from dirt or mud) for my nephew, Davis’ birthday and had the good fortune of inheriting a bundle of hand-me-downs from Max, Stone & Addie (Ava, Charlie & Mason’s cousins). These Mayer ladies? They buy quality clothes, and thankfully, quality clothes tend to last.
It’s funny – though the kids are from the same generation, they’re not from the same generation of stains. The good news is that Shout® was able to bring these old clothes back to life, saving me and my wife from converting them to car wash rags or throwing them away like napkins at the pizza place.
EDITOR’S NOTE: DO NOT SEND ME ANY DIRTY LAUNDRY, IT WAS A JOKE.