I figured that after some apple puffs, Charlie and I could chill out and rap about why Humpty Dumpty keeps falling down. Or maybe even how Goldilocks is high-maintenance about her porridge and whose bed she sleeps in and how sometimes this parallels real life.
But during one of my manic cleaning episodes (utilizing Charlie as an apprentice), he must’ve cracked open Pandora’s Box next to the bed. Now I’m all jammed up because the kid wants to talk about car chases and pelvic landscaping foreplay. Not to mention that he’s asking what ‘adrenaline-driven sex’ is, how Ana got pregnant and why Jack is blackmailing her.
MY WIFE’S NIGHTSTAND NEEDS A LOCK.