With the economy still eating it and gold coming in at almost $1,800 an ounce, we’re willing to dig anywhere for it. Ava thinks that panning for gold is for suckers. She’s invented her own patented methods of exploration. She does her best work during important events or family photo moments.
- ‘CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW’ – An unorthodox method of drilling a shaft through the ear canal to get to the nasal passage, home of the precious metal.
- ‘CONGRATULATIONS, IT’S A…..BOOGER?’ – A well-timed pick in the middle of a photo opp during our gender reveal party (yes, we had one of those). With forty people in the living room waiting to share the exciting news with us, instead of a boy or a girl, we got a giant crusty duster from the left chute.
- ‘BEHIND THE BACK’ – Normally when I head out into public, I’m only concerned about the front of my shirt, because like most people, my eyes are in the front of my head. Now I’ve got to adapt. Forget about the dried vomit on the shoulder, poop smear across the mid-rift, now I’ve got to be worried about a palette of boogs on my back.
- ‘THE COMMUTER’ – Belted in, CHECK. Helmet on to protect the gold mine, CHECK. Dad’s peddling, CHECK. Hands-free mining, CHECK.
- ‘DON’T MOVE OR I’LL SHOOT’ – Sometimes grocery shopping is fun, sometimes not. Evidently this trip was better for Jen and Charlie than it was for Ava. She’s about to pull the trigger on her Trader Joe’s experience.
- ‘PAPARAZZI PARANOIA’ – Are those photogs in the woods, snapping pics of my mine deposits? I thought I was alone on my walk….
If you need help picking a winner, get at us!