Faster than a Playtex fast-flow nipple.
More powerful than a juiced-up toddler.
Able to leap into a King bed with Mom & Dad in a single bound.
LOOK. UP IN THE SKY!
IT’S A BIRD. IT’S A PLANE.
No. Sorry assholes, it’s not ‘Fat Adrian’.
After a year of being a father, not too much catches me off-guard anymore. However, when Jen unleashed this hood ornament for Ava’s first birthday party, I back-peddled, thinking I had forgotten it was an Elton John ‘Candle in the Wind’ theme. Was I going to have to go and rent some glitzy Liberace outfit? Tap shoes and bedazzled eyewear? I don’t remember Norma Jean partying like this…
Unless I was missing the miniature stripper that was about to pop out of this head-cake, there’s no way I would’ve approved this. As I look at the picture, I also can’t help but notice, it seems like she’s pulling at some sort of cape. Did I fall asleep at the wheel on this one or what?
You snooze, you lose. This is what happens when you take naps and they go shopping, fellas. Make a note.
Happy Birthday Dear Candlehead…Happy Birthday to you! (8 months ago.)