ME: Honey, why aren’t you eating those black olives?
AVA: It’s kind of tough to chew those while I’m sucking the knowledge out of this baby head. I want to learn faster Dad!
ME: Ava, you can’t learn things any quicker by eating peoples brains. I have to teach you. You’re learning new stuff everyday. For instance, moving you from velcro to laces or flash cards to books. You are in the midst of a complete evolution and we can only dream about your amazing potential!
AVA: What are you talking about? Cut the crap old man. You had better start teaching me some shit or YOU’RE NEXT.
EDITOR’S NOTE: High-chair courtesy of 1982. Thanks to Aunt Beth for digging it up while we were back east. Vintage, baby!