WIFE: We should take Ava to the American Girl store and see if she likes anything. We don’t have to buy something, we’ll just look!
ME (internally): Oh yeah, sure. We’ll just go and ‘look’. I’ve been down this road before.
DEAR MILITARY, SEND THE PREDATOR DRONES TO STRIKE ME DOWN AT THE LOS ANGELES GROVE SHOPPING COMPLEX. SPARE NO ONE.
Even if the armed forces can’t take me out, fifty different dolls at $100 a clip, plus accessories, outfits, a salon to get their hair done and lunch certainly will. Who in the hell eats lunch with a doll anyway?
ME (externally): That sounds like a great idea babe!